Longmont Report

McCoy, Wray, VanGordon Share Congenital Disease

(FERRET-GOD DUNG "DOOTY" WRAY)
(PHOTO COURTESY DUNG WRAY'S EX-MONKEY) THIS IS EARTH-SHATTERING! AFTER A DOUBLE-BLIND META-ANALYSIS, PROOF THAT DUNG "DOOTY"  WRAY, SEAN "SISSY BOY" McCOY, AND "BADDA-BING" VAN GORDON HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN FAILURE TO MAKE IT CAREER-WISE IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR!!!! LOOK CAREFULLY...

We hate to even cover this kind of seedy  news, but cover it we must. McCoy Wray, are VanGordon are PART OF A CULT OF FERRET-SHARERS!!!! Dung "Dooty" Wray is the eccentric messiah-leader of the cult. A bizarre form of reverse-polygamy is in play here, where all members of the cult share a small batch of cloned ferrets. Observe:

This is no joke. Far be it from LongmontReport.com to judge whose ferret is tickling whom, but when Longmont taxpayers are potentially footing the bill if the ferret foolishness gets out of hand, inquiring minds want to know.

New Yorker "Badda-Bing" VanGordon, whose claim to fame is smoking an entire quarter-ounce of weed THEN drinking the water from the bong for the "extra buzz" (thanks for the tip from an old elementary school buddy)  also suffers terminally from the condition known as Ferret-Face.
(FERRET-MEN)
A SECOND interesting parallel between the two is their stellar progress with English as a Second Language. McCoy, already legend for using City Council meetings as his artistic "Civic Canvas" by rolling out newly minted words including "Roball" (video) and "Symbionic" (video), is joined by Badda-Bing, whose lexicon sports the new term, "perjorative" - as opposed to "pejorative" (see his YourHub.com blog). Keep 'em coming, boys! Har-dee-har!

AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T SHAVE!

Story developing...

Benker, McCoy clan all set to get "lawyered up"

LEFT, KAREN BENKER'S SECRET NIGHTIE, MADE SPECIAL TO MATCH TOM MCCOY'S!

If I were Longmont City Councilmen Karen Benker and Sean McCoy - or McCoy's daddy Tom, I'd be sweating. Not only have these zealots exposed Longmont to a multi-million dollar lawsuit by pursuing "those damn Christians" across city lines -- even after they packed up and left -- but word has it some city workers who have been involved in complying with the recent Open Records Request are concerned about comments made by Council members regarding the annexation.

It's also rumored that several Longmont residents may be signing an affidavit regarding Sean McCoy's father, Tom McCoy, telling Longmonters just before last November's election "LifeBridge will be stopped at all cost." In this article published just prior to November 2007, McCoy let slip his candidate son's  antipathy for the free market. WIth Longmont's economic performance  since, I guess he was right.

Suspicion that certain council members may have acted improperly in working against the Union/LifeBridge annexation and in subsequent action designed to persecute the property's owners are flaring across Longmont.

Benker, McCoy having a nice meal of Humble Pie

Now this is funny. Today, in this story, the Denver Post covered the pending deal between Firestone and Longmont regarding the annexation issues.

The deal? A) The Benker/McCoy Axis of Evil gets to save (egg-covered) face, while Longmont gets its so-called "buffer zone"; and B) the Union property gets annexed into Firestone.

BUT HERE'S THE FUNNY PART: Benker and McCoy have to cut a deal that involves paying money to buy the Firelight property from people they hate (those DAMN churchgoing Republicans!) for open space, and LifeBridge/Union gets to build and to be annexed into Firestone.

LEFT, LONGMONT'S NEW COMMUNITY OUTREACH DIRECTOR

I think this works out best for all really. I mean, do the folks at LifeBridge and Union really want to be associated with Longmont's meth problem and guys like this gang-banging wife-beater? Methinks not.

Moreover, Union won't have the albatross of Longmont's tanking city image and drained coffers under Benkernomics, Chad Auer pulls a coup on his way into office, picks up millions in the tax revenues lost by Longmont for rejecting Union, and Auer picks up one heck of a voting demographic.

What the....??? LongmontReport.com gets statewide attention

Well, it had to happen sooner or later. LongmontReport.com, seeker of truth, reporter of iniquity and dysfunctional government, has HIT THE BIG TIME. After months of tirelessly reporting the offenses of Dung "Dooty" Wray, "Faye Kissinger", Karen "the Hammer" Benker, and Sean "the (Un)real" McCoy and their ilk, LR.com is apparently being podcasted STATEWIDE, BABY!!!

After receiving numerous emails about this (I am "podcast" illiterate, but will have to learn how that all works - my iPod is still new in the box), I have to check the story out.  All I can say is LongmontReport.com's traffic is through the roof!

While we have been busy on a trip to Texas boar hunting, never fear, we have been digging up some juicy info about the City of Longmont and the cult of lefties who are making secret backroom deals in the dark bowels of hell, er, I mean local government.

And with this new podcast bit (they'll probably make me use iTunes, which I don;t like much), I'll be able to travel and post at the same time about the War on Republicans (LifeBridge, Firestone, who's next?) that Benkeristas are waging. This should prove to be very cool!

Lange, Benker, City Council May Approve Shooting Range in Longmont

QUESTION: What's a city council to do when plans for open space, a church, residential housing, and some shops are just too radical to handle?

ANSWER:  Approve a shooting range within city limits!

Yes, that's right folks, you heard it here first - Longmont city council, fresh on the heels of their War on Firestone, is preparing to approve a shooting range INSIDE city limits! My question is, since they dislike churchgoers so much, why not just fast-track the shooting range to be sited in the lot behind LifeBridge Church? (See above)

This would solve the problem of shooters having to set up those pesky targets all the time, AND it would solve Kaye Fissinger's stated purpose of reducing the number of Republicans in Longmont.

WHAT IS SO AMAZING about this story is that the Times-Call knows about the plans for a shooting range in Longmont, but spiked the story! Why?

BLOCKBUSTER $50M Discrimination suit against Boulder County may have implications for Longmont City Council

Holy House of Worship, Batman!

Yesterday, in this blockbuster court ruling, Boulder County lost a key action in Denver's Federal Disctrict Court - with $50 million in damages at stake. Seems the McCoy and Benker are not the only ones persecuting people of Christian faith in Boulder County.

Since the City Council is pretty intent on spending our tax revenues on lawyers, they may want to get "lawyered up" with an expensive Denver defense firm and then send them this ruling (Download)!!! Of course, siamese twins Benker/McCoy read this blog daily, so this is the easiest way to get it to them...

New York Times
Colorado Church Wins Ruling on Expansion

By DIANA B. HENRIQUES

Published: April 2, 2008

A federal judge in Denver gave a preliminary victory to a rapidly growing Christian church that wants to expand on land designated for decades as open space.

The judge, Robert E. Blackburn of Federal District Court, refused to dismiss a lawsuit by the group challenging a Colorado county’s refusal to allow the expansion.

The lawsuit, filed against Boulder County by the Rocky Mountain Christian Church in Niwot, Colo., is an important test of a federal statute aimed at protecting churches and other houses of worship from discriminatory zoning.

The church says it has outgrown its current home, on a 54-acre site in one of the buffer zones the county established decades ago to preserve open space around its towns and villages. In February 2006, the county refused to permit the church to double the size of its buildings. The church sued under the federal Religious Land Use and Institutionalized Persons Act of 2000, saying the decision limiting its growth also limited its religious liberty.

Judge Blackburn concluded Tuesday that the case presented too many factual disputes to be dismissed at this stage and scheduled it for trial in November.

 

Anti-Free Speech Sissy Sean McCoy labels LongmontReport.com "aggressors"

Well, you can bet there are a few in Longmont who would like to knock that Village People mustachio off of Sean McCoy in a dark alley (McCoy, left, with screwdriver), but no, thanks, we here at LongmontReport.com are happy watching McCoy use the City Council sessions for practicing remedial vocabulary.

Here, though, we do have archive footage of McCoy in an actual physical brawl (MOM, BETTER SEND THE KIDS OUT OF THE ROOM!).

Also, in this stunning video, the ever-paranoid Councilman Sean McCoy thanks the Longmont Police for protecting the city council and his family from the "leadership of Firestone" and from "bullying" by the LongmontReport.com, and says that free speech is "not acceptable or OK." Gosh, what would he say if there were an actual protest?

LEFT, notice the SRO attendance for McCoy's big stand.  Unlike McCoy's IQ or building permits in Longmont, our traffic is WAY UP. If this keeps up, we'll roll out our limited edition commemorative "Save Sean" flak jackets - and the first 500 orders will come with a special glue-on McCoy nose and mustache.

How ever shall McCoy be protected from - "hostile rhetoric" from the "lunatic fringe"? Aha - I've got it - a new campaign ordinance similar to this failed anti-free speech measure! One of several that the our comrades on City Council are "exploring"...

TIMES-CALL: Longmont Community Development Director Invites Union to be Annexed by Longmont!!!

QUOTE FROM TIMES-CALL: Phil DelVecchio, Longmont’s community development director, said both Fairview and LifeBridge can develop their land in Weld County — or, he added, “they still have the option to annex into the city of Longmont.”

“LifeBridge pulled out of Longmont’s process, and we never did get an opportunity to continue processing the Fairview annexation,” he said.

Here's the link - what else do we really need to say??

Benker and Longmont Council Caught in Ethics Violation

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE - UNCONFIRMED RUMOR: LONGMONT ATTORNEY TO WITHDRAW OVER CONFLICT! In response to our story, someone sent us this letter that was fired off to the City of Longmont earlier today. We have also received an unconfirmed email from a city employee that Longmont's counsel has ADMITTED THE CONFLICT. It doesn't look good for the Bobbleheads!

WE REPORT, YOU DERIDE - Benker's Tax-Funded War against Firestone is on, and it's already getting dirty. It appears that the City Council has placed itself in somewhat of a quandary, by hiring a lawyer who formerly worked for a developer in town, to fight the City of Firestone's Master Plan on a related property.

We're still trying to figure this mess out, but our legal expert on staff says that Benker's Bloc will have to stand down on this one. For some hilarious examples of Benker Bloc Bufoonery, go to www.WRONGMONT.com .

Issues like this are why Longmont citizens MUST fight the anti-free speech proposals at TONIGHT'S City Council meeting!

Thanks to the concerned citizen who sent this in!

Benker to Special Election loser Juday: Let's curb free speech in Longmont

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE - TIMES CALL HAMMERS ANTI-FREE SPEECH EFFORT!!!

Karen Benker is known for throwing temper tantrums when her attempts to circumvent Roberts Rules of Order don't work out, as you can see here in this video.

But hey, you gotta give the woman credit for having what they don't sell at Bruce's Bar anymore. Never satisfied with keeping her chosen enemies out of any civic service positions, Benker is now set to squelch our free speech rights. In a ploy to shut down dissent among Longmont's taxpayers (like maybe about the new War on Firestone), Councilman Karen Benker had a private talk with January election loser Richard Juday, assuring support for new, draconian restrictions on free speech.

That's the report coming from an unnamed source in Longmont, and if true, could be the thread that unravels the Benker Bloc's iron-fisted control of our City Council. Who knows, maybe Mayor Roger "Lap-Dog" Lange would even grow a spine as a result of the latest Benker scandal?

Juday, whose stellar campaign was notable for many things, including this brilliant idea to track Wal-Mart shoppers by license plate, originally brought the anti-free speech proposal before the Longmont Council last month, and it is now on the agenda for tomorrow's city council meeting at 7PM at 350 Kimbark. The diabolical plan is to slip Longmont's new domestic spying program past unwitting constituents in the wake of what should prove to be a spirited debate about the Council's War on Firestone.

LET'S STOP BENKER'S  POWER GRAB, OR YOUR RIGHT TO DISCUSS THE ISSUES WITH YOUR NEIGHBORS AND MY RIGHT TO OPERATE THIS WEBSITE WILL BE STRIPPED! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!