(FERRET-GOD DUNG "DOOTY" WRAY)
(PHOTO COURTESY DUNG WRAY'S EX-MONKEY) THIS IS EARTH-SHATTERING! AFTER A DOUBLE-BLIND META-ANALYSIS, PROOF THAT DUNG "DOOTY" WRAY, SEAN "SISSY BOY" McCOY, AND "BADDA-BING" VAN GORDON HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN FAILURE TO MAKE IT CAREER-WISE IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR!!!! LOOK CAREFULLY...
We hate to even cover this kind of seedy news, but cover it we must. McCoy Wray, are VanGordon are PART OF A CULT OF FERRET-SHARERS!!!! Dung "Dooty" Wray is the eccentric messiah-leader of the cult. A bizarre form of reverse-polygamy is in play here, where all members of the cult share a small batch of cloned ferrets. Observe:
This is no joke. Far be it from LongmontReport.com to judge whose ferret is tickling whom, but when Longmont taxpayers are potentially footing the bill if the ferret foolishness gets out of hand, inquiring minds want to know.
New Yorker "Badda-Bing" VanGordon, whose claim to fame is smoking an entire quarter-ounce of weed THEN drinking the water from the bong for the "extra buzz" (thanks for the tip from an old elementary school buddy) also suffers terminally from the condition known as Ferret-Face.
A SECOND interesting parallel between the two is their stellar progress with English as a Second Language. McCoy, already legend for using City Council meetings as his artistic "Civic Canvas" by rolling out newly minted words including "Roball" (video) and "Symbionic" (video), is joined by Badda-Bing, whose lexicon sports the new term, "perjorative" - as opposed to "pejorative" (see his YourHub.com blog). Keep 'em coming, boys! Har-dee-har!
AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T SHAVE!